What Shouldn't Happen (But Probably Will)
by GroovyGirl
Summary: Here's a peek into the worst that could happen in season three!


Author: Lisa (GroovyGirl)  
Email: GroovyGirl650@aol.com  
Category: Humor  
Rating: G  
Summary: A glimpse into the first episode of season three.  
Author's Note: Taking into consideration the utterly crappy writing and   
plotlines of season two, pessimists would say "it can only get worse." If   
they are indeed right, this is what will happen the first episode of season   
three.  
  
  
"I'm going on a date with Max tonight!" Liz chirped as she bounced   
around the Crashdown wearing her waitress uniform. Maria stared at Liz in   
horror.  
"Have you had a brain leak? Max yelled at you, insulted you, slept   
with Tess, got her pregnant, and never even apologized! Not to mention his   
girlfriend killed our best friend, Alex! And you are going to take him back   
like nothing happened? Where is your spine?!"  
"You done?" Liz asked, with a bored expression.  
"Yeah."  
"Good. I'm going on a date with Max!" Liz squealed in happiness and   
twirled around continously. Getting dizzy, she fell onto a stool and burst   
into giggles.  
"She's gone insane," muttered Maria. She went into the back not   
being able to stand the pathetic sight any longer.  
Max walked into the Crashdown. He automatically walked over to   
Liz. His face looked blank, almost robotic.  
"Hey Max!" Liz jumped up and started covering his face with kisses.  
"I have to save my son," Max said in a monotone.  
"What do you mean?" Liz asked, staring at him.  
"I have to save my son," he mumbled. Liz was beginning to be   
frightened by his emotionless eyes.  
"Oh NO! I think Tess has mindwarped Max!" Liz cried, grabbing   
Maria as she emerged from the back room.  
"Nope, Tess hasn't mindwarped him- the writers have. You see, Max   
trying to save his son is the only plotline they could come up with for this   
season. They have to make it last." Maria looked sadly at Max.  
"Oh. I guess I'll just have to go make out with Sean. See you later   
Maria!" Liz bounded quickly out the door, leaving Max looking after her   
and babbling about his son. Maria shook her head and walked over to the   
booth where Kyle and Isabel were sitting. Well actually, more like Isabel   
was sitting on Kyle's lap.  
The two were making out passsionately. Kyle's hands were tangled in   
Isabel's long hair, and she had her arms locked around his neck. Maria was   
just about to ask them what they wanted to order (while trying not to barf)   
when the bells above the Crashdown door rung, signalling a new arrival.  
Alex strode in, looking as good as ever. Maria's jaw dropped and   
after a stunned moment, she rushed over to him.  
"Alex! You're alive! You're back!" she screamed, pouncing on him.   
Alex pushed her away roughly, looking angry.  
"Shut up! You aren't supposed to see me! Read the damn script for   
once! I'm going to be Isabel's guardian angel for the season!" he exclaimed.  
"Why? That's really dumb," Maria said.  
"You're telling me. But my movie career didn't work out and I really   
need the cash." Alex walked over to Isabel and tapped her on the shoulder.   
"Isabel. Isabel?" Isabel pulled Kyle closer and pushed Alex away from her.  
"Go away!" she snapped, kissing Kyle hungrily. Alex sighed.  
"Screw it. I heard there's an opening on that crappy looking show on   
the WB."  
"Smallville?" Maria asked.  
"Yeah. Good luck with this- you'll need it!" Alex called out, already   
leaving the restaurant.  
Michael walked in, bumping into Alex on the way. Maria gasped in   
shock. His hair looked even worse then before!  
"Hi Michael," Maria said as he scurried up to her.  
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Michael asked, clearly annoyed.   
Maria was confused.  
"I am?" she asked, a puzzled expression on her face.  
"You forgot to say hi to the mullet." Michael patted his hair   
affectionately. Maria groaned and buried her face in her hands.  
"I am NOT saying hi to your hair!" she cried, her voice muffled.  
"Maria, just say hi to it so we can get this stupid episode done as soon   
as possible," Michael said in an exasperated tone. Maria looked up at him   
and rolled her eyes.  
"Fine! Hi mullet." Maria shifted nervously and sat down in a booth.   
"I have to tell you something Michael." Michael tapped his foot impatiently,   
and looked at his watch.  
"Okay, but make it quick. The mullet has a photo shoot for YM in ten   
minutes." Maria pulled in a deep breath and looked right into his eyes.  
"I'm pregnant."  
Michael let out a high pitched squeak. Maria gasped as his eyes rolled   
back in his head and he fell to the floor with a thud.  
Frustrated, Maria grabbed her hair and pulled. "That's it- I'm calling   
my agent!"  
  
*~*  
  
Lisa sat in her bedroom and stared at the screen in horror.   
"What is this crap? What on earth are the writers thinking?" Sighing,   
she picked up the remote control. "I wonder what else is on."  
  
The End  
  
  
*Hope you enjoyed that! And in case you are wondering, I'm Lisa!   
Feedback is much appreciated.*  



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